Civil Wrongs Praised in Katamari Damacy

Katamari Damacy released for Playstation 2 in 2004 by Namco tells the tale of galactic destruction and the re-creation thereof. Through disturbing animations and an outlandish soundtrack, Katamari tells the tale of an angry father forcing his child to reconstruct the universe that he himself had destroyed in a bout of utter delight, while admittedly enjoying the beauty of said destructive act. This tiny prince of a son of the self-proclaimed "King of All Cosmos" is sent multiple times to earth with giant sticky balls that, proportionally to the prince in the early levels, is likened to an ant pushing a watermelon. Once on Earth he is forced to collect items to send each of these balls or "Katamari" up to the sky to an ungrateful father who transforms them into heavenly bodies. Katamari Damacy is ripe with civil wrongs and social inaccuracies which implant deviant ideas into the minds of today's gamers.

The Family

"The King of All Cosmos," as he calls himself, falls short of a Heavenly Father. His constant battering of his son is not constructive criticism and borderlines if not blatantly crosses the line of verbal child abuse. After shattering all the stars in the sky he puts his son to hard-labor, cleaning up his mess criticizing him for not making stars large enough nor constellations bright enough. He is constantly demoralizing the Prince for being short, incapable, and pathetic. His face is mean, not the kind one of a loving father and his eyes glow red in shadows. All of this is stacked on the fact the King wears an unsightly cod piece larger than the Prince himself. Is this the kind of family example we set for our children? Social wrongs aside, the mockery of the King of the Universe sending his only son to mend the destruction is blasphemous. But let's not forget there's also the extended family of racially diverse cousins stranded without supervision forced to wander the slopes of a small space mushroom waiting to compete against the Prince in the quest for galactic creation. This is analogical with either a.) Slavery or b.) Barbaric gladiators of Ancient Rome, either of which further exemplifies the degradation of the upstanding potential of civilization. Take your pick.

The Earth

Next, let's look at the way life on Earth is portrayed. Anytime the Katamari starts small the Prince begins in a house that is plagued with an overabundance of a materialistic society's garbage. A child's room contains up to twenty water guns, an assortment of handcuffs, and an excessive amount of action figures and dolls. To grow in ourselves we need to learn not to focus on building up our stockpiles of treasures on Earth. While one would not assume to alleviate all leisures in life, gluttony is a cardinal sin, not a virtue. Next observe the variety of sharp objects casually laying on multiple surfaces displaying the unsafety of children playing in the house. Streets are littered with all types of food and trash as well, protraying many nations as slobs. Each location is vermin infested whether it be rats or spiders. The 97% of people that are not street vendors, cops, or slave-labor-cotton-pickers shown in the game are sleeping, lounging around, or walking aimlessly around the cities, promoting sloth, another of the cardinal sins.

The Crimes Against Humanity

When the Katamari gets large enough in each session, collecting inanimate objects is not enough. It doesn't stop with helpless kittens, puppies and cows. The first to get sucked into the ball are the children. When the ball is even larger and able to contain adults, the blatant disrespect for life is shown as all people, street vendors, blue collar workers, housewives and policemen are assimilated into the growing mass. When it reaches it's proper size the King ignites the ball into a super hot nuclear nova and positions the structure into space, obliterating the individuals trapped inside creating a mass murder of the Earthlings of many nations.

Physics

The improper lessons given to children in the realm of physics and astronomy are atrocious. There is already a strong lack of academia in most households across America, without video games polluting minds even further.

-The King of All Cosmos shatters stars into "beautiful" piles of star dust. Stars would not "shatter" but create violent super novas.

-The King talks to the Prince in outer space. Sound does not travel in space therefore conversation would be impossible.

-A one-meter Katamari of junk is able to create a glowing star seen in the night sky. Yet the moon requires 300 meters of junk for its mass, grossly misappropriating the properties of heavenly bodies.

-The 1-centimeter tall prince is able to push a Katamari 300 meters in size that is comprised of livestock, automobiles, sky scrapers, and small islands.

While adorned in bright colors and queerily happy music, Katamari Damacy is a wolf in sheep's clothing, subconsciously reducing perceptions of family values, miscontruing a proper world view, cheapening the observed cost of life and perpetuating a general deception of basic physics principles. Please monitor the intellectual destimulation in which you choose to indulge. While the ESRB rating means "E" for Everyone it does not account for all morally decadent content.